I’m finishing up this subject today, and either Friday or Saturday I’ll post a new one, on Ten Things Your Husband Wishes You Knew About Him…be sure to check back ladies, it’s a good one!

6. Resolve conflicts in private…and avoid body language that undermines your husband in public. We all get upset with our husbands at times; that’s part of marriage. But don’t drag it out in front of others. Your friends won’t see you make up later, and they’ll be left with a lasting impression of a wife’s disrespect for her husband.

I’ve been guilty of this, most often when bitterness from an earlier dispute carries over into our plans with friends that evening. When I consider my heart, I find that instead of love, my motive for huffiness is revenge, and deep down inside I hope to hurt him like he’s hurt me. So I might roll my eyes at something he says, or elbow him, or put on a look of disbelief. Body language like this quietly undermines your husband in front of others. He may not know what you’re trying to say, but he’ll read it to mean, “I’m not proud of you, and I don’t respect you.”

7. Take his side. There’s no one that’s easier for a wife to pick on than her husband. You are all too familiar with his annoying little habits, and the areas where he needs improvement. But when others start to pick on him, take his side. The jokes might seem innocent, but if you make fun of your husband publicly, you are choosing to degrade him when you could esteem him.

The next time your husband is the brunt of teasing, stick up for him by talking about his good qualities and abilities. You don’t have to act offended, but instead act proud of who he is and what he has accomplished. As a result, you will show your honey that even when you are given a choice you still choose to give him the respect that he deserves.

8. Cheer him on. Have you ever wondered why there are cheerleaders at a football game? They aren’t helping the players throw the ball, run faster, or play smarter, but their job is just as important. They encourage the players by letting them know that someone believes they can win. Husbands need cheerleaders, too. They don’t need someone to fix their problems for them or even tell them how to do things. As a matter of fact, to try to fix their problems can insult their masculinity. What they need are wives who believe in them.

A great example of this kind of cheerleading comes from Meredith White of Longview, Tex. When her husband, Faber, was going through medical school and working long hours, Meredith knew he was struggling just to make it through each day. So she started “What’s it Wednesdays” and would plan a weekly gift or surprise for her sweetheart. “Every week I looked forward to Wednesdays for that reason,” Faber says. ” It definitely helped me through a particularly hard time in my schooling.”

9. Be interested in his projects. Every man I know has a passion for something, from watching sports to putting together model airplanes. My husband likes to play Fantasy Football from August to February. I have to admit there are times when I force myself to keep from rolling my eyes at the mention of the word “football” because I want him to know that I support his desire to fellowship with his friends and take part in clean sportsmanship. This all boils down to starting a conversation with your husband.

If he is busy researching in his office, sit down and ask him about his newest venture. “What are you working on, Sweetheart?” is a good way to begin. He may give you a short, non-descriptive answer like “Oh, just some stuff for Fantasy Football.” Then that’s your cue to start asking questions. Ask him how he’s been playing, how he plans to improve, and don’t forget to end with an encouraging word about how, “he’s going to blow them all away at the finals this year.”

10. Teach your children to respect him. It’s easy to openly criticize your husband in front of your children, but when was the last time you boasted about him instead? Your words of admiration will not only make your children feel more secure as they witness their parents’ love, it will also encourage them to speak as highly of their father as you do. In addition, when your kids, particularly as teenagers, make comments that disrespect their father, be sure to let them know that such speech is unacceptable. This is important for the unity of your marriage. And when your husband hears about your comments, he will feel a renewed sense of appreciation for a wife who demands his respect.

Taken from the September 2005 issue of The Family Room, FamilyLife’s online magazine. www.FamilyLife.com/familyroom. Copyright© 2005. All rights reserved. Used by permission