I don’t want anyone to miss the marriage post that I made earlier this evening, before the American Idol post. I’d hate to think my One time of moving to a more general topic, might cause anyone to miss the real ‘meat’ of my blog. So just scroll down past the A.I. topic, if you aren’t interested in it, and you’ll find my marriage post. Thanks!
This is an article I found online and am reprinting for your enjoyment. It’s too long to post in one setting, so will be doing it in five parts. Come back often, it’s worth reading!
How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby
My husband, David, has been working on a large project that takes up a lot of his free time. He has sacrificed time, energy, and money to make everything work together, and at moments, he’s wondered if it’s worth the effort. One day when he was working particularly hard, I came into his office with a glass of iced tea, looked him in the eyes, and said, “Sweetheart, do you know how proud of you I am?”
He looked at me almost with relief, then looked down and said, “Would you still be proud of me even if none of this works out?”
“Of course, I will be,” I softly assured him with a kiss and a smile. “I’m most proud of you for taking initiatives and seeking to do what’s right for our family.”
His eyes lit up and his face seemed comforted. As I departed the room, leaving him to his work, he took a deep breath and the rhythm of his fingers typed out a heartier tune. Just that one small comment from me seemed to give him the peace of mind and the energy that he needed to keep going.
If I were to guess, I would say that most of us wives are proud of our husbands. But if someone were to ask your husband, “When was the last time your wife let you know that she is proud of you?” What would he say?
Shaunti Feldhahn, author of For Women Only, surveyed 1,000 men to find out their emotional needs. On March 28, 2005, in an interview with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine on “FamilyLife Today,” Feldhahn said: “For men, their highest need is not to feel loved and cherished, as it is [for women]. It’s to feel respected by us and trusted by us and, in fact, we can spend so much time trying to show our husbands that we love them, saying, “I love you,” and doing all these things to show love, but if we tease them in public or make them think we don’t respect their decisions or don’t trust when they make a choice, they will feel disrespected, and they won’t feel loved.”
Feldhahn isn’t the first to discover this truth. As a matter of fact, the Bible has been teaching us this fact for centuries. In Ephesians 5:33b, the apostle Paul is clear in his instruction to wives: “…the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
Taken from the September 2005 issue of The Family Room, FamilyLife’s online magazine. www.FamilyLife.com/familyroom. Copyright© 2005. All rights reserved. Used by permission
Stay tuned for the next installment, some practical helps and “how to’s”
5 Things Your Husband Wants You to Know
1. I want to please you sexually. It’s humiliating for men to ask for directions, so help us by giving us a road map for sex.
2. I need you, but I need others, too. When guys want to know what to do, not how to feel, they turn to male friends.
3. I want to find meaning in my work. We derive satisfaction from what we do. So support us as we sort out our goals and gifts.
4. I want to be reconciled with those I love. Contrary to the “take no prisoners” attitude men express, we’re still bothered by unresolved conflict. You can help by asking questions.
5. I want to remain young and virile forever. Love us, make us feel we’re still sexually desirable, cook us healthy meals, and suggest an aerobic walk around the block.
By James Charis, from 30 Days to a More Incredible Marriage, edited by Ramona Cramer Tucker (Tyndale). Used by Permission.
It’s been an amazing week….first the call from my agent about the possibility of a movie, then I get a chance to be involved in the art for the cover of my book. I was given the opportunity to take a shot at setting up a photo op that we thought might be appropriate, and the wonderful people at Kregel were awesome enough to allow me to try.
I got some great shots, and they’re taking a look at them now. There’s a good chance they’ll work and my photo will be on the front of my book. Now how cool is that! Another week or two, and I might even get to post the cover on my blog. It’s also very possible that the book cover will be posted online on Amazon and Barnes and Noble by the end of April.
Please remember to leave a comment on one of the blogs this month that pertain to my book, if you want your name put into the drawing for the signed copy. Only one more week left to go, and you might be a winner!
Use this post or scroll down and find the other reference to my book this month, to enter. Thanks to all of you who faithfully stop by to visit…I wish you’d all leave a comment occasionally to let me know you’re lurking, but I still appreciate you, just the same!
Romans 8:14, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God.”
It’s important to spend time with the Lord in prayer, opening our hearts and spirits to His voice and waiting on Him for direction. Spend time in worship, give yourself totally to Him, asking that Jesus be in complete control of your mind and heart as you seek Him and listen. As children of God, we can be confident that the Holy Spirit will lead us, but as stated in Col. 3:15, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,” peace must accompany the leading or direction we receive.
God’s peace is the sure sign that the Holy Spirit is directing, rather than our own thoughts or desires. The Holy Spirit is quiet and gentle, but persistent, calling us to wait quietly before Him and listen for His voice. He speaks to us when we take the time to wait on Him, not rushing, not feeling we must always be talking, but patiently waiting for Him to speak.
Sometimes He chooses to speak when we’ve opened our hearts to Him in worship and are simply desiring to serve Him. While worshiping during a Wednesday evening service at my church, I strongly sensed the Lord was asking me to kneel during the balance of the worship service. I felt uncomfortable, as the rest of the congregation were on their feet. He impressed on my heart, that if I would be obedient, He was going to show His power before the service ended.
The ‘nudge’ was so strong, I knew I had to obey. I quietly slipped down to my knees and finished the worship service in tears, more moved than I had been in a long time. When the pastor came up to speak, he shared that someone in the congregation was in physical pain and asked that they come forward for prayer. A woman immediately stepped out, but he didn’t pray for her at once. Instead, he explained that the Lord had shown him there was someone present who had been given a gift of faith for this woman’s healing and asked that they come forward to pray for her. I immediately felt faith well up in my spirit and knew this was why the Lord had asked me to be obedient. I walked forward, laying my hand on her back and praying briefly. She testified that the pain left as soon as my hand touched her back. The Lord chose to do a sovereign work, but in this case it was dependant upon my willingness to listen and obey.
The Lord also speaks to by the operation of the gifts of the Spirit, as listed in I Corinthians 12:8-11. The gifts of wisdom and knowledge are used to help a person apply the revelation of God’s Word to a specific situation. In Acts 5, when Ananias & his wife Sapphira lied to Paul and withheld some of the money they received from the sale of their property, God revealed it to Paul through the operation of a word of knowledge.
The operation of the revelation gifts can help us make Godly decisions in our daily walk. If we are being used in counseling others, a word of wisdom or knowledge can shorten what might otherwise be hours of ministry. 1 Corinthians 14:1, it says that we should ‘Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy.’
We need to follow hard after God and desire to be used, keeping our hearts open to whatever gift He might want to bestow on us. Whether it be the prophetic gifts or any other, we must operate in an attitude of love. God seeks people who are anxious to hear His voice and use His gifts in ministry to others, while continually bringing glory to Him.
Praying for our Spouse or a friend…Praying the Word.
I was emailing a gal tonight who’s been struggling in her marriage. Her husband had fallen away from the Lord due to hurts and disillusionment caused by others. He’s allowed bitterness and resentment to rob him of his walk with the Lord and turn him into an angry, hurting man.
She’s been hurting too…knowing that the man she married is still in there somewhere, but not sure how to help him, or help to break him free of the pain he’s locked in. Here’s one suggestion I gave her, that might help you in a situation you find yourself in right now.
Pray the Word.
Pray the Word, you say? How? Why? What good will that do? I already pray every day for him, and I’m not seeing a lot of change.
But you see, the Word is powerful and cuts like a two edged sword…it discerns the heart and mind of a man and it brings light and truth anywhere it’s used. We don’t understand how it works, or why, but Christians through the ages have proven time and again, that using the Word in prayer, is one of the most powerful way to pray.
Find 5-10 scriptures that resound in your spirit…ones that you KNOW are for the person you’re praying for. Write them down, individually, on 3×5 cards, then pray each one of them, every day, for that person. Here’s an example of what I prayed for my husband: Ephesians 1:17-20. This is fairly long, so bear with me…but I think you’ll see what I mean.
Lord, I’m lifting up Allen before you. I pray that you will give him spiritual wisdom and understanding, in Christ Jesus, so that he might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that his heart will be flooded with light so that he can understand the wonderful future that he has, to those that you have calle. Help him to realize what a rich and glorious inheritance he has been given. Lord, I pray that he will beging to understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for any of us who believe Him…This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realm.
It looks like it’s final. I got an email from my publisher today and he tells me that the marketing team has decided the title is to be….
The Other Daughter
My title, Yesterday’s Child, was being used by a number of books and they wanted something that was representative of the tension inherant in the story line as well as giving a hint to the plot.
The cover is being worked on right now and I was told I’d get to take a peek at it, as soon as it’s a little further along. I won’t be able to share it immediately, but as soon as I have permission, I’ll post a pic of it here. It’s also looking like the book might be released in October, if all goes well. Exciting stuff to be in time for Christmas giving!